Thursday, May 12, 2011

Now Arthur is in a ward.

I rang the hospital this morning, Arthur has had a good sleep and they are waiting for the doctor to see him. /He has a catheter in. I expressed my concern about him getting another UTI but the nurse said he had a dry pad and when the scanned his bladder, he had about 600 mls of urine in there but Arthur didn't feel it. I am now scared his body is ceasing to function. I need to get myself to a point where I can be with him when he goes through this, if this is finally his death occurring. If I am scared and horrified, what must Arthur be feeling when he is awake, although he is very sleepy. 

Last night I asked him to promise me he would be there for my birthday at the end of this month. He said "I promise."

I feel a part of me is being taken away.It is impossible to describe the deep devoted love we have for each other. We in a lot of ways were not compatible, the differences not just in age, but it is amazing what works when two people really love and care for each other.

Maybe I am being too pessimistic, I remember when I came out of an operation and I couldn't urinate. Maybe it is just the tiredness that is effecting him.

I am so sorry I never recorded his memoirs or wrote his stories down.

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